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A tree does not grow strong despite the storm — it grows strong because of it. This lecture from Academy of Ideas applies that insight to human suffering. Drawing on research into post-traumatic growth, it shows that most people underestimate how much hardship they can bear, and that even terrible experiences can become catalysts for deep change. Viktor Frankl lost nearly his whole family in the camps, yet rebuilt himself by accepting suffering as his task. The Stoics add a practical habit: rehearse misfortune before it arrives, so that when calamity comes, you can say — I knew.
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The warrior’s approach is to say yes to life, yeah to it all. Opportunities to find deeper
powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging. Negativism to the pain and
ferocity of life is negativism to life. We are not there until we can say yeah to it all.
Just as the wood of a tree is strengthened by the storm, in the life of man, adversity is the
sculptor of a strong and resilient character. Most people, however, fear adversity. They flee
from it and believe that if it becomes too severe, they will not be strengthened by it, but broken.
In this video, we explore how most people underestimate the degree of adversity they
can withstand, and overlook the fact that even traumatic experiences can be the catalyst for
personal growth. Out of life’s school of war, said Nietzsche, what doesn’t kill me makes me
stronger. Bad things happen, this is one of life’s guarantees. Most of the time the hardships that
confront us are minor and manageable, but at certain times adversity strikes that shakes the
very foundations of our being. These are the experiences that are so intense or tragic that
they are characterized as traumatic. In his book, What Doesn’t Kill Us, the psychologist
Stephen Joseph notes that,
Researchers have estimated that 75% of all people experience some form of trauma in life.
The loss or suffering of a loved one, the diagnosis of an illness, the pain of divorce
or separation, the shock of an accident, assault, or environmental disaster. Around a fifth of all
people are likely to experience a potentially traumatic event within a given year.
By its very definition, trauma is unexpected, unpredictable, and uncontrollable.
Believing that life can be lived without encountering adversity is a lost cause.
The word trauma derives from the Greek word meaning wound and was first used in the 17th
century to refer to a physical wound which pierces the body.
In the 20th century, Sigmund Freud adopted the word for psychological purposes to refer
to painful experiences that puncture the psyche and leave us emotionally wounded.
Throughout the 20th century, most psychologists focused on the negative symptoms that accompany
traumatic experiences.
After all, what good can come from the worst life has to offer?
In the 1990s, however, the psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun noted that while
suffering was inevitable following a traumatic experience, accompanying this suffering some
people experienced immense growth in various areas of life, including an increase of personal
strength, a greater appreciation of life, richer relationships, an openness to new possibilities,
a greater sense of meaning, and a deeper spiritual attitude. This growth which follows trauma they
called post-traumatic growth, and as Stephen Joseph writes, the idea of transformation through
trauma goes against the grain of all that is written about the devastating and destructive
effects of trauma. Psychological studies have shown that adverse life events are often the
trigger for depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress. What, then, are we to make of the stories
of people who have encountered a life-threatening illness, a harrowing natural disaster, even a
man-made horror, and then go on to tell of how it was a transformational turning point in their
lives. Such stories seem to point to the truth of Nietzsche’s dictum, what doesn’t kill me makes me
stronger. History is replete with stories of individuals that validate Nietzsche’s dictum.
Take Viktor Frankl. In 1942, the Nazis took Frankl, his wife, brother, and parents to a
concentration camp. His mother and brother were murdered, his father died of exhaustion, his wife
died of typhus, and Frankl was transferred between four concentration camps in three years.
Instead of letting this tragedy destroy him, Frankl accepted his fate and through his suffering
transformed himself into a heroic character and one of the greatest psychologists of the 20th
century. And as Frankl wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning, when a man finds that it is his destiny
to suffer, he will have to accept his suffering as his task, his single and unique task. His
unique opportunity lies in the way in which he bears his burden. Another example of an individual
who embodied Nietzsche’s dictum is Terry Waite. In 1987, Waite traveled to Beirut, Lebanon,
to secure the release of hostages. He was captured and spent four years in solitary confinement,
where he was repeatedly beaten, chained, and subjected to mock executions. I said three
things on release. No regret, no self-pity, and no sentimentality, explains Waite. I tried to turn
the experience around. Suffering is universal. You attempt to subvert it so that it does not
have a destructive, negative effect. You turn it around so that it becomes a creative, positive
force. Some might argue that Frankel and Waite belong to a rare breed of individuals who are
capable of transmuting traumatic experiences into personal growth. Research, however, suggests that
this capacity is widespread. After surveying the literature, Stephen Joseph notes that up to 70%
of individuals who experience serious trauma report some form of benefit following the traumatic
event. What is more, studies have shown that higher levels of post-traumatic stress are often
associated with higher levels of growth. It appears as if the human psyche has evolved the
capacity to not only endure trauma, but to use the stress that follows to foster growth.
Post-traumatic stress is the engine of transformation, of a process known as
post-traumatic growth, explains Stephen Joseph. Post-traumatic stress is a natural and normal
process of adaptation to adversity that marks the beginning of a transformative journey.
There is nothing positive about trauma. It is in the struggle to deal with what has happened
that positive change can arise. One of the ways post-traumatic growth occurs is through what is
called the existential wake-up call. When trauma or adversity strikes, we may become aware of how
precarious and precious life is, and this can motivate us to make needed changes to our values,
beliefs, and priorities. Or as Stephen Joseph writes,
Not until adversity strikes do many people begin to look deeply within themselves to reappraise
what really matters. Adversity can awaken people to new and more meaningful lives.
Trauma forces people to confront a crossroads in their lives.
While we have a natural disposition to grow in response to adversity and trauma,
a weak mindset can impede this growth. To strengthen our mindset,
we can turn to the wisdom of the ancient Stoic philosophers. The Stoics recognized that adversity
is an unavoidable part of human existence, and that we should, therefore, psychologically prepare
ourselves for challenging times before they arise. What should a philosopher say, then,
in the face of each of the hardships of life? It is for this that I’ve been training myself.
It is for this that I was practicing, stated Epictetus.
Training for adversity requires that we accept that life is uncertain and that we will face
various misfortunes, both minor and major, throughout life.
Most of us do not accept this.
Instead, we convince ourselves that the hardships that happen to other people are unlikely to
happen to us.
In experiments in which people are asked to rate their chances of experiencing negative
events, they consistently rate their own chances lower than those of others, explains Stephen
Joseph. While alleviating our anxiety in the moment, this strategy of sticking our head in
the sand leaves us vulnerable. For if we believe we are unlikely to face misfortune, when we do,
we will be unprepared and susceptible to greater suffering. Or as the Roman Stoic Seneca noted,
What is quite unlooked for is more crushing in its effect, and unexpectedness adds to the weight
of a disaster. The fact that it was unforeseen has never failed to intensify a person’s grief.
For this reason, the Stoics recommended we set aside time to contemplate the various misfortunes
that could befall us, and occasionally imagine that a specific misfortune has already occurred.
Arthur Schopenhauer, who was influenced by the Stoic philosophers, wrote that,
There is some use in occasionally looking upon terrible misfortunes, such as might happen to us, as though they had actually happened.
As an example, we can imagine that we have suffered a great loss or the death of someone we love.
Not only will this practice heighten our appreciation of what we have, ensuring that we do not take it for granted,
but if such a loss or death does occur, we will be in the position of the stoic wise man
whose foresight blunts the negative effects of tragedy and minimizes the degree of suffering
and grief. The wise man gets used to future evils, writes Seneca. We sometimes hear the
inexperienced say, I didn’t know this was in store for me. The wise man knows that everything is in
store for him. Whatever happens, he says, I knew, or as Seneca continues, by looking ahead to all
that may happen as though it were going to happen, he will soften the attacks of all ills, which
bring nothing unforeseen to those who are prepared and expectant, but come as a serious blow to those
who show no concern and expect only blessings. Sickness befalls a man, captivity, disaster,
destruction by fire. None of these things, however, is unexpected. I knew in what rowdy
company nature had confined me. A great many men on the point of taking to the sea give no thought
to storms. Along with preparing for potential adversities ahead of time, to further improve
our capacity to endure the worst life offers, we can strive for what Friedrich Nietzsche called
the highest state a human can attain, to stand in a Dionysian relationship to existence.
Dionysus was a Greek god. In one myth, the Titans, former gods whose power had been supplanted,
grow jealous of Dionysus and so they capture him and tear his body into pieces. Dionysus’ father,
Zeus, quickly intervenes and brings Dionysus back to life. Hence why Dionysus is an archetypal
symbol of resurrection, but more importantly, of psychological rebirth. Dionysus cut to pieces
is a promise of life. It will be eternally reborn and return again from destruction, wrote Nietzsche.
To stand in a Dionysian relationship to existence is to recognize that no matter the degree of
psychological destruction we face, like Dionysus, we can be reborn from tragedy and trauma and
return to life stronger than we were before. It is to acknowledge the truth that pain and
destruction are often the precursors of self-transformation. It is to be strong enough
to say yes to life, to justify it, even when life is, in the words of Nietzsche, most terrible,
ambiguous, and mendacious. In a passage in the Will to Power titled Dionysus,
to him that has turned out well, Nietzsche describes the individual who stands in a
Dionysian relationship to existence. He has illnesses as great stimulants of his life.
He knows how to exploit ill chances. He grows stronger through the accidents that threaten
to destroy him. That of which more delicate men would perish belongs to the stimulants of great
health. In our age a victim mentality reigns, and many individuals use adversities and traumas as
justifications for their personal failures, resentments, pettiness, and meanness of character.
But we can rise above this weakness of our age. We can strive to be heroic in the face of hardships
and recognize that, while traumas and tragedies can break us and tear us into pieces, they can
also be the catalyst to a greater health and a greater life. A full and powerful soul not only
copes with painful, even terrible losses, deprivations, robberies, insults. It emerges
from such hells with a greater fullness and powerfulness, and, most essential of all,
with a new increase in the blissfulness of love, wrote Nietzsche. And as Joseph Campbell explains,
Nietzsche was the one who did the job for me. At a certain moment in his life, the idea came to him
of what he called the love of your fate. Whatever your fate is, whatever the hell happens, you say,
this is what I need. It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an opportunity,
a challenge. Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature,
and your life. What a privilege. Then, when looking back at your life, you will see that
the moments which seemed to be great failures followed by wreckage were the incidents that
shaped the life you have now. Become an Academy of Ideas supporting member and access over 90
videos exclusive to members, including a five-part series on the wisdom of the Stoics and how to be
a Stoic sage, a three-part series on addiction and recovery, and a five-part series on the
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slash members. This channel is made possible by the support of our members.
Source: Academy of Ideas