Descriptions:
Video Description
Ammon Hillman travels back seven centuries before Jesus to resurrect Archilochus, the warrior poet of Paros whose books Sparta removed as indecent. The episode calls him one of the three greats the civilization produced, alongside Homer and Hesiod, and credits him with inventing drinking songs, the iambic insult, and the ithyphallic meter, the rhythm named for the straight phallus carried through the festivals of Bacchus. The claim held up throughout is that Archilochus baptized the muse in the venom of the echidna (ἔχιδνα), joining song to death.
The power of the words is the point. Archilochus was promised immortality by Delphi, met the muses as a boy taking a cow to trade, and fell in love with Neobule, only to have her father give her to another for political profit. He wrote a song about it, and the episode says the girl, her father, and in some accounts her mother hanged themselves, which Hillman explains through the late-Bronze-Age shame culture. The killer of Archilochus was turned away by the Pythia, the oracle at Delphi, because he had murdered a servant of the muse, even a warrior poet who served Enyalios (Ἐνυάλιος), the old Mycenaean war god.
The episode closes on the drugs in the poems and the Greek lesson. Hillman reads the scholia on Theocritus for hippomanes (ἱππομανές), the black growth from a newborn foal’s forehead that becomes an aphrodisiac philtron, and he recites Archilochus’ filthiest fragment, in which the mind of the money-loving mime and the kake porne are the same. The final segment is Ammon U Unit 5, the passive voice, which drills the endings of the present, imperfect, subjunctive, optative, future, perfect, and pluperfect passive and the agency of hupo (ὑπό), by whom the action is done.
Full Video Transcript
Warrior Poet.
I have the key of death, I have the key to hell
Give me quickly the water of life, I am that drug
The death inducer, hallelujah
Toxicology, pharmakia, do ya?
Liquid smoke, keep it moving
Lady Babylon, elder Amazon
Show your mind, on Spanish fly
Shining bright, stars in the sky
doom the pharaoh venom dragon’s head you sexual venus back to the lady babylon this is almond you
and i am bringing you some instruction tonight it’s going to thrill you it’s going to get inside
you it’s going to turn you into something that you were never thinking you could become oh god
It’s wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. I think we have an announcement, too. But I’m going to wait
for that announcement. I’m going to wait, right? And by the way, you know, little variety never
hurt, right? Fantastic. I’m going to take you somewhere tonight. What exactly are we going to
do? I’m going to resurrect for you, Archilochus. I’m going to resurrect for you a dude who’s going
to tell us who he is in his own words, but I can tell you what it says in his grave. Oh God,
this is the person who baptized the muse into the viper’s venom. This is the 7th century. I have a
real treat for you tonight. I have a real treat. Tonight we are going to the 7th century BC and
everybody’s excited because we’ve been hitting the second and the first so many times. We’ve got to
stop. We’re going way back. We’re going back to the one of the three people that the civilization
that produced democracy said, these are the three greats. One of them is Archilochus, a warrior poet.
What is the warrior poet there to do? The warrior poet is there to avenge. The warrior poet serves
Mars and the muses. Imagine having the power to kill with your words. This is Archilochus,
and I’m going to show you tonight. I’m going to show you. You mean he killed with his poetry?
Yes, he did. Yes, he did. He killed people with his muse. Oh God, so gorgeous. I’m going to give
you that. And then after that, we’re going to jump into a little bit of passivity, a little bit of
passivity tonight. So those of you nerds who have come for a beating, the drill sergeant is waiting.
He’s waiting. Before we even get to my part, I want to tell you, it’s such a pleasure. I believe
that we have found, Chewy, this is verifiable, right? I believe we have found that boy that was
with Jesus in a public park at 4 a.m. in Mark 14, 51 and 52. I think we found him. I think we found
him. Turns out he was with P. Diddy the whole time, the whole time, right under our noses,
like some kind of Bacchic tragedy. Oh, are you ready for the cleansing? Are you ready,
people, for the cleansing? Can you feel it? Oh, God. Turn it up, Amin. Turn up, turn up the heat.
we’re going to do that tonight okay let’s get started bring them in bring them in here let’s
do what we always do and bring them in give me that first give me that very first reference look
people look the spartans ordered that the books of archilochus who well let’s find out they ordered
that his books should be removed from their state because they considered them indecent
and would not have their children indoctrinated Florida with writings which might do more harm
to their morals than good to their wits. Thank you, Valerius Maximus, for telling us that. Isn’t
that nice? Who are we dealing with tonight? We’re dealing with the warrior poet whose works were
banned. They were banned in Sparta. He, like Stephen King, is corrupting the youth.
Are you ready? You know what’s happening here? I just want to say this. Last time that we all
met together, congregation, we talked about selling the muse, and we ended with songs that
talked about throwing these pirates from the bridges. You know what we’re going to see tonight?
We’re going to see the warrior poet who did just that. When you prostitute the muse,
do you know what happens to you? We’re going to see tonight. We’re going to see tonight. Oh,
God, this is so lovely. It’s like a giant justice party. Give me the next one. Give me, oh, did we
finish all that? I think we finished all of that one here. Moreover, if we may believe Pindar,
yeah, what’s wrong with Pindar? Let’s believe Pindar. Terpander was the originator of drinking
songs. So, wait a minute, drinking songs. What is a drinking song? But it must be remembered
that further innovations were made by Archilochus. Now, wait, the people, Nancy, you love music.
look at this gorgeous the trimeter the combination of unlike measures the recitative or rhythmical
recitation of poetry to music oh that was his doing do you understand what you’re watching here
everybody who’s ever had any interest in rap ought to be watching the master himself this dude look
look what the dude brings. Look what the dude brings. And he’s a warrior poet, man. He’s a
warrior poet, right? He’s a Greek from the island of Paros, right? And his family have been setting
down colonies and building temples to Demeter and Dionysus, okay? Look what we did, people. We
stepped out of the spaceship tonight. Here we are back in the seventh century. Remember,
for those of you who are catching up, this is about four to five hundred years before Judaism
developed. And what is happening? The world is being saturated with poets. We’ve got libraries
now. We’ve got libraries, people. We’re going forward. We’re going forward. Do you see what’s
happening? Okay, so we’re back there in the 7th century, and we’re making drinking songs.
Drinking songs. Nice. We’ll find out what those are. Give me the next one, Chewy, or give me that
one. Let me finish it. Yeah. To him also are ascribed the epipode. Oh, have you invented,
those of you sitting out there, artists, have you invented a genre? No, you haven’t. This person did
not only that, but a whole bunch of stuff. Look at the tetrameter, the cratic, right? Well, how many
of these different meters? The heroic, right? Version of the dactylic hexameter. Some authorities
would say the elegiac. Excuse me. This person is inspired. This person. And you know what they did
to him when he got to Sparta. They wouldn’t let him in. They exiled him. They exiled him.
What did Archilochus create in addition to everything that we just looked at? The iambic.
Iambic. What is iambic poetry? It’s the poetry of the insult. The insult that makes you kill
yourself. It is the deepest, darkest truth that the poet can hit upon. It’s when the poet’s muse
becomes baptized in echidna’s venom. That’s how they said it, not me. You hear the rituals.
You see Eleusis. This is to Demeter and Dionysus. What is Archilochus? He is an author of iambic
poetry, iambic poetry, ithyphallic poetry. Who out there wants to know what ithyphallic? This
Mr. Rogers. Come here, Mr. Rogers. I don’t mean to do this. I know it’s not polite. Mr. Rogers,
I said I would never spank you, but tonight’s word is ithyphallic. Ithyphallic. It’s great
people, right? Of course it is. Of course it is, right? And what does it mean? Comes from two words
being put together. Put yourself in the native mind. Straight. Straight. Great. What’s the other
one? Feral member, aka Johnson. This is what is straight when an ethyphallic procession takes
place. What do you want? By the way, everybody, these pots, these great pots, that’s original
stuff. Do you understand? Do you see the Minad and you see the Seder? Why does the Seder have
a horse’s tail? If you’ve ever wanted to know why the Seder has a horse’s tail, I’m going to show
you tonight. You’re going to find out for the first time. Classicists have debated this, right?
what what the heck some of them are kind of horse you know what i mean what the changes almost looks
like donkey ears growing on that guy what’s going on i’m gonna show you and it’s gonna have to do
with licking the head of a horse let’s do it i love this stuff get them out of there come back
later give me the next yeah uh did we finish yeah no we finished um yeah i had a costume of his day
that’s fine next one next one what else a foot lesson it will be the ethyphallic now when they
say foot they mean metric foot right this is marius again ryan thank you which was invented
by archilochus and consists of three trochees and then he gives an example in latin a rhythm
composed they say by the poet in honor of the god herein addressed who do you think who do you thank
you address with ethyphallic poetry it’s people who are getting christed christed do you know
what makes us ethyphallic do you know what makes us ethyphallic last time we met we resurrected
meat man did we have meat man did he come with us tonight people he’s of people love meat man
we resurrected meat man and one of the things that saint thomas here depicted one thing about
him that i failed to tell you that i had in my notes but i rushed is that he says explicitly
his medicine is the mystery his medicine is the mystery i’ve been telling you all of this
only because we have sources none of idea meat man is a reality meat man what does he taste like
right they put salt and vinegar no i’m serious because it says in the acts of thomas it says
they put salt and vinegar all over him too which is probably a great exercise because you’re
kind of trying to sterilize you know it’s like curing if your meat is all out there because
somebody took your skin off right what do you do cure yourself right right love it thank you
meat man you may go now give us give us the next meat man will make more appearances i don’t know
why people like meat meat man people look at the greek for iffy i like what is iffy phallic worship
Now, watch this. Look at the Brits in the 1850-ish, right? Look at the Brits. These are
Victorians. How are they going to define for us the straight male member? Fascium erectum.
They give us some Latin. They give us some Latin. The phallus carried in the festivals of Bacchus.
there it is. There it is. Everybody knows what a phallus is, right? It’s a, are you ready,
Mr. Rogers? A phallus is a penis. Yeah. Yeah. An iffy phallus is a straight one.
Do you understand? When you are initiated, you must, you must be in a sexual state of arousal.
It doesn’t work otherwise. You can see it in the men, right? You can see it in them. You can hear
it, they said, in the women. Oh, God, isn’t that gorgeous? Where do you think songs come from?
Where do you think seeing comes from? The dude that I’m showing you tonight is inventing
everything, right? Right? He’s inventing everything. And how is he doing it? Through
satyrs. Through satyrs. What are you looking for? The dark harbor? Do you understand?
Do you have ears to hear? Give me the next one. People are going to love this. Watch this,
people. I swear you’re going to love it. Yeah, phallus. So here we go. Look, I told you before,
look, look, they’re chased. They’re running away from those Brits. They ran in a second
from the phallus. Just hold up. Do you want people to run from you? Yeah. Hold up a phallus.
Hold up a phallus. Shake it. This is what they did in the Bacchic procession. This is why I had
my students at St. Mary’s University process a six-foot erection into the theater because it’s
part of the religious worship that sets the stage, that sets the stage. Yeah, yeah. Do you understand?
It’s gorgeousness. Now watch. Now let’s get back to Archilochus because I want people to have
somebody to look up to. For so long, we’ve been looking down on Jesus Christ who was arrested
in a public park with a naked kid. There’s stuff going on. Pete Diddy is in the background giving
us a show. It’s like, are you sure? Are you sure? This thing is not scripted, is it? Of course it
is. That’s how all reality is, right? What do you think? What do you think? Programming. They
looked at language and programming. You’d think they would get it. Give me the next one. Watch
this, people. Stand and look at Archilochus, the old maker of iambic verse, whose infinite renown
has spread both to utmost east and furthest west. Sure, the muses in Delia and Apollo liked him
well. Such taste and skill had he to bring both to the framing of the words and to the singing of
them to the liar. Every, take it down, every musician, every musician on the planet, this is
your guy. This is your guy, right? Step forward. Step forward, Archilochus, and tell us, tell us
about yourself, okay? Let’s hear it in his own, let’s hear it in the poet’s own words. Let’s hear
who he said he was. And remember, this dude ended up affecting a lot of people’s lives, right? A lot
of them very positively. Many of them very negatively. That’s the power. Do you understand?
Oh, God. Warrior poets. Let’s bring them back. Let’s bring back that Amazonian poetess, shall we?
Give it to me. Give it to me, right? Oh, here’s a little saying, by the way, from the Palatine
Anthology, right? Gaitulicus, supposedly. This tomb by the sea is the grave of Archilochus,
who first dipped a bitter muse in snake venom and stained gentle Helicon with blood. Helicon
is where the muses sing, and he stained the place with blood. Witness like Kembe’s bewailing the
hanging of daughters three. Pass softly by, good wayfarer, or you’ll rouse the wasps that settle
on his tip. Who is there? Did we find her? Did we find her? Who are the hanging people? Were there
things where there’s were there intimations yes we have illustrations go ahead go ahead who are
we talking about are we talking what what happened give me the scoop um before you know um something
bad happens give me the scoop the scoop is archilochus fell in love and he asked the girl
old that he was in love with he asked her father um can i marry her you know and her father was
like yeah braun here he is you leave that picture up here he is he said sure right this is history
i’m talking about i’m not talking about any sort of religious legend and so he’s gonna get married
to his daughter. And the politics of colonization got in the way. And daddy realized that it was
more profitable for him, would make him more popular to have his daughter marry somebody else
who was in the political scheme, right? Okay, so what did Archilochus do? He simply wrote a song
about it. He wrote a song about it. And he was so famous in his own lifetime that everybody
got a hold of it. Everybody. And do you know what happened? The daughter that was engaged to him
and her father. And in some accounts, his mother also, her mother, his wife, right? The girl’s,
yeah, Neabule’s mother. What did they do? They killed themselves. Why? You have to realize
this is, we’re still operating within that late Bronze Age mentality of the shame culture.
It’s a huge deal.
And Archilochus’ muse ruthlessly murdered those people.
They couldn’t live after that.
They couldn’t live after that.
Now, if you think that’s odd, if you think that’s odd, let me tell you.
Let me fast forward and tell you about the death of Archilochus.
Archilochus died in battle.
He died in battle.
The person who killed him was at Delphi.
The priestess oracle saw him enter and told him, get out, get out. You murdered the servant of the
muse. Get out. Now, that sounds like a wonderful drama, but it means a lot more than you think,
because this is the oracle at Delphi telling a dude, remember, Socrates is only famous because
of the oracle. And the same oracle, the same position, tells this dude who killed Archilochus
in battle, you don’t get any approach. You’re filthy. You’re polluted. How many other temples
do you think this dude gets to go be a part of? How much of ancient society, how much of ancient
Greek society does this cut him out of? Oh, just about everything. Because guess what? Everybody
finds out about it in the end. Everybody. And that’s what he’s got to walk around.
Now, he appealed the decision. He appealed the decision and claimed that it was under the service
of Mars, right? And was therefore protected. And the response from the oracle again was just one
thing? He was a servant of the muse. Now, we fast forward all the way to his death. I want you to
sit there and hold his death in one hand. I want you to hold his birth in the other, because at
the time of his birth, his father, right, who works for the priesthoods of Demeter and Bacchus,
he goes to the to Delphi and he asked the oracle what about my child tell me about my child she
said he will become immortal he will become immortal when he was a little boy his father
told him go out and get the cow he went out and get the cow he got the cow and while he was bringing
the cow back ladies showed up and these ladies had a liar they gave it to him and he said thank
you, right? That’s Archilochus. They say, give us a cow. We’ll deal with the cow. You take the
liar, right? Now, this vision was verified to be that of the muses appearing to Archilochus
when he was just a kid, when he was just a kid. You mean we’re talking about an eight or nine
year old? Yes, P. Diddy, we are. All right. I think I get it. I think I get it. Now, it was
verified in his lifetime as a legitimate appearance, right? The oracle said those were the muses.
So, for this moron to have killed Archilochus in battle, he was killing the divine. He was
killing it. He was stopping the music. And that’s why, Florida, we have to burn books.
Do you understand? Let’s all go to the Bacchic revelry. Give me the next one, Chewy. I want to
pull it out, and I want people to see it. This is good. This is good. I want people to see it. Look,
here’s, what does this say? Oh, the dude that killed Archilochus was called Gorax, right? And
hear the words. I just wanted you to see the words on the second line. That’s what she says to him.
Get out of the temple. Get out. What did the Parians do? What did the Parians do? They honored
Archilochus, despite the fact that he was a supreme blasphemon, blasphemer. Do you know what
Archilochus was? Someone whose words could curse you. You could listen to the words and be cursed.
That is blasphemy. Give me the next one. I think it’s blasphemy. Did we bring in blasphemy? I think
we did. Here we did. Look, speaking ill-omened words. Is that what we’re doing? Are we now
speaking ill-omened words as the Korax? All right. Oh, have you heard that thing? That thing can,
she can talk like a toad, man. I never heard that. She did that right over my head the other day.
I thought it was going to fall over. It’s amazing what those ravens can do. Slanderous.
libelous who is archilochus he is the king of slander do you hear me do you hear me yet
do you hear me yes i know you do where’d it go oh i took it somewhere else i need more i need
more space too where’s it do you hear me do you hear me i’m gonna let it sink in i’m gonna let
let’s sink in. Can you hear it? Listen, slander. Who, tell me now, okay, tell me, who is the king
of slander? Tell me. You want it. You want me to slander you, don’t you? Who do you want?
You want the devil, don’t you? That’s exactly the way it is. Literarily, you just bring it out.
you bring out that demon right slander slander imagine that the gent who invented the sharpest
slander that’s ever existed how sharp is it on sharp enough to kill sharp enough to kill
give me the next one give me the next one aren’t there any we gotta bring in the good comments
right? We’ve got to bring in the good comments, right? This is more. This is more. This was about
the appeal, right? It doesn’t matter. Get the next one. The appeal doesn’t matter, right? It doesn’t
matter. He was a servant to the muse, right? What were you thinking, man? What were you thinking?
Oh, look what’s happening. I just wanted you to see a couple of words. I just wanted you to see.
this is that, you know, really bitterness, right? That thing that really bites, I guess,
is a better picos. It’s biting, right? It’s biting. Look at the metaphors. Bitter,
bitter, right? Relentless, relentless. Okay. Just keep that in mind. Give me the next one.
Give me the next one. I think I put the, that was the cart. We’ll find the horse. Don’t worry.
I think, oh, here it is. Okay. That word, look at the first, into the first line. Look at the last
part of that last word, right? Bikran. I want you to see how this fits in, right? So here, people,
we’re at the tomb, the seaside tomb of Archilochus, right? And I want you to see that he is baptizing.
look at the second line i just want you to see this this was quoted above but i wanted you to
see the greek protos he is the first all right he baptizes as the first one to do so the muse
what kind of muse the bitter bitter muse and what is he baptizer with
you know what holoi is it’s venom do you know what happens when you take the echidna who’s the
echidna you know who she is she’s the mother of that girl who is half singer half viper that’s
what they called her i’m telling you that’s what they called her historically please find her she’s
in the Greek. Yeah. Archilochus creates a muse who is the joining of the song with death. Remember,
this is Bacchic. The mystery is us entering into a state of sexual ecstasy followed by death
and resurrection. Archilochus knows the drugs. Are you going to be surprised if I tell you he
knows the drugs and I show you? Oh, God. Oh, think of where you are now. Think of where you could
have been, right? Shame on you. I’m going to show you a poem of Archilochus that’s going to blow
out your eardrums. Everything in it is the naughtiest. It is the sharpest, naughtiest knife
you’ll ever come across. Give it to me. Next one. Next one. What is this? Oh, here. Archilochus,
just tell us for yourself. Who are you, buddy?
who who are you i am the servant of the god of war the great lord in iolios and i know
that desired gift of the muses i know their gift i know their gift who and now you have to remember
um he’s not just saying that because he’s sitting down on his porch saying how can i be
you know let’s throw in some metaphor there you know what i mean he’s not doing that he’s not
doing that at all. He’s talking about his God. And who is his God? Aeneas. Who’s that? Old
Mycenaean stuff, baby. It’s old Ares. Oh God. Oh, sometimes classes get it backwards because
they’ll tell you Ares is the older version. No, I’ve seen it in the Mycenaean, brah. I’ve seen
it. And I don’t believe that. Okay. But it’s out there. Why is the tree on which hangs the skin
on which is printed the song of Medea? Why is that in the grove of Ares? Warrior, poet. Where
do you think poetry came from? Comes from the worship of Ares. Do you know who knows more
than the man or woman who has been a servant to the war God? Do you know who knows more about
life? Nobody. Nobody. Fantastic. There’s one mission. Guard the song. Guard the song. It’s
the one mission. You thought the temple, you thought the grove of Ares. What did you think?
It’s going to have a bunch of steely, big, brawny, cartoonish men. Maybe they’re sitting
they’re wrestling no it’s got a tree and on the tree is a song written on a fleece
and it’s hers this is the same song the christians tried to abuse and ended up with their faith
this is the song that brings christian faith but give me the next one who um yeah yeah give it an
next one i just wanted you where are the drugs look people i just want you to see this reference
it’s scolia on theocritus 248 talks about hippomanes right they’re interested in
hippomanes and the terminology surrounding it and it’s an easis it’s a cure for something
right the drugs that are involved what is this and they they’re mentioning archilochus in this
context to look at specific technical vocabulary and they’re doing this you know um they’re doing
this long before there’s you know what other languages are around the time uh not much right
not much that really is producing anything you know there were sixty thousand to two hundred
thousand they estimate works in the library at alexandria you know what i mean you know what
how many languages do you think those were in right yeah it just doesn’t matter until you
get to climax in a language yeah you haven’t been there you go back romans go back to your
huts with that latin just go back to it by the way i love latin and i work on latin sources all
time because i’m a classical philologist so um but i do like to give latin a hard time anyway give me
the next one it’s okay if you’ve you know if you like a limited vocabulary you’re okay what is
hippomanes people are you ready i promised you this this is the gross part that may certain
people may like this they may like dig it you know what i mean hippomanes abounding in or swarming
with horses, right? This is an adjective, right? What are we doing? Well, if we turn it into a noun,
right, we’ve got an Arcadian plant called the thorn apple or datura stramonium of which horses
are madly fond or which makes them mad. Did you know horses get stoned? Of course they do. Every
animal gets stoned, right? Surprise, surprise. Look what’s happening here. And I know because
people have mentioned this before. This is a big deal, right? What are the hippomanes all about?
Look what happens in number two. It’s a small, in this case, in this reference, it’s small black
fleshy substances on the forehead of a newborn foal. Doesn’t that make you hungry? Which if
procured, right? Before it was eaten by the dam, because you know those horses want to get so high,
right? You know they do. You know they do. You see people shouting about adrenochromes.
Oh my God, you don’t know the half of it. You don’t know the half of it. Where are your horses,
man? Let’s watch one full. Oh God, have a big party. Have a big party. You know what I mean?
um, horses, right? Can you get Rico for horses? I don’t know. I don’t know, but here it is. Um,
yeah. So what happens? Um, it was a powerful, why did people do this? Why do you eat this thing?
Cause they turn it into an field thrown. Those are those things that you take in order to make
yourself a satyr, right? Or a minad, a minad, a moaning minad. Now, the processing of it is
really what matters, right? What they’re doing with it to process it. And apparently you got
to get it quick because you lose it. So look, where are we? Notice that we’re still heavily
in horse culture. There’s a reason that Athena is depicted in connection with horses. There’s
a reason for that, right? All of that Chalcolithic background is tribes of migratory horse people,
so much so their fingers are bent to the bows that they use, their hips splayed out because
of all the time they spend on horseback. Love it. Love it. Oh, God. Why does nobody want that
part of the drama? Give me the next one. By the way, the Hippiatrica is involved here.
That’s a book on medicine, horse medicine. Can you believe in antiquity? Look, you can ask somebody,
um hey you know you talk about bible times do this to a do this to a smarty right here’s a
little trick for you tonight walk up to a theologian or a pastor right oh god now it just
fled my mind look at that never mind we’ll get it a horse had somebody do a horse we were getting
high with horses we’re oh that’s what i was gonna say your hebrew bible that you sit and study in
your seminary, that thing that is actually something created in a thousand AD by a religious
sect trying to establish a Masoretic text, right? You look at that, you look at the language in it,
look at the level, the level of performance with seven to eight thousand words, unique words,
Not much at all. Greek has so many unique words that you have subspecialties within specialties
and you see it coming out in this vocabulary. These temple practices, they’re not simple,
right? They’re built on a basis of reason that is just, you know, which makes sense because you
walk up to them and say, look at how perfect it is. Stand in front of a Greek temple someday,
please and you’ll feel the difference in the language what do you get with egyptian
straight up look boom boom looks like a giant rock that somebody chiseled what happens when
you stand in front of a greek temple you know i’m telling the truth people you know i am all
you scholars out there all you egypt dollars you know i’m telling the truth you stand in front of
a great temple and you defecate in your britches just from sheer awe of the mathematical calculations
it took to put this beauty together. It’s beauty. And you see these sculptures, you’re like, oh,
you know what you feel when you see an Egyptian sculpture? Everybody’s giving the Egyptians way
too much credit, man. Everybody’s giving them way too much credit. Way too much credit. Gilgamesh
too. That stuff was worthless, right? What did Gilgamesh get you built? Okay. People, people
like it when I do this, but so I’m going to indulge. Let me ask the people out there. What
did Gilgamesh get you built in history you know what it got mud huts that’s what it got mud brick
brilliant brilliant check out a temple check out a temple try one in Athens sometime go to Turkey
look up look up and down the coast of Turkey oh god love it absolutely love it give me the next
one did you have you ever seen them they’re frozen man they’re frozen I don’t know why the Greeks
make them alive. I wanted to give you the actual teaching so that you can see. Here’s Archilochus,
our warrior poet. What does he say? Oh God, the father ruler of heaven, you look at the deeds of
people and you know the ones that are unjust and the ones that are just. You judge the hubris
of all these beasts. What does that sound like to you? What does that sound like to you? Does that
sound biting? It’s a little bit biting, right? It’s a little bit on the side of, uh-oh, somebody’s
going to pull out some stuff that they know. They’ve got documents, and a lot of people are
going to get implicated, right? That is Archilochus. Give me the next one. Give me the next one. I’ll
give you that one for free. What else? There’s Eobache that are going on. What are these?
There is another unconnectable meter. Oh, God, it’s more meter. With the first antipathy. Oh,
Quick, my music people, I’m already lost.
Or opposition consisting of an iambic dimeter,
a catalectic, and a three and a half foot trochaic.
Oh God, that guy Archilochus
has a three and a half foot trochaic right there.
No wonder they worship Priapus, known as the Euripidean.
Oh, look at that, Euripides managed
to get his name in there, right?
He had fans too, you know what I mean?
yeah kind of swifties he had them too um although somebody said he got into a competition with
stop please over some boy pd thanks some boy who was out there um prostituting outside of the city
limits yeah i had something going on now it’s probably just made up it’s probably just like
you know scandal from antiquity just to sell i don’t know scrolls right um as for instance in
the iobaki ascribed to archilochus and here’s an example celebrating the feast of the holy demeter
and cora i wanted you to see all the mystery that we’ve been talking about for quite a while now um
this is all a part of society’s creation of literature it’s all a part of it you don’t get
this literature without the mystery cults you don’t get it otherwise you got gilgamesh and
ziggurats gilgamesh and ziggurats you know what they’ve got in hell they’ve got gilgamesh text
for you to read in hell right cuneiform read that stuff look at it it looks like it was programmed
by somebody who is you know into pain you know what i mean that’s not art looks like a chicken
walked on that clay right what is that uh john scarborough would find that funny he used to call
it chicken scratch give me the next one give me the next one hurry these people we’re about to get
we’re going to take a break in a minute but here’s the are you ready to get back to the climax here
here’s more tetrameters oh god look here’s a whole bunch of stuff look if he fell like right if he
phallic what is it he found like ah give the next one a whole bunch more oh look at the term right
to lead off peculiar to the liar thus he see it says in archilochus quote myself leading off the
lesbian peon to the sound of the flute and i want you to see lesbian lesbian peon what’s a peon
it’s an hymn in praise of pion who is apollo the leader of the muses okay so this is a lesbian
lesbian peon a lesbian peon when you say lesbos and you’re talking about this time period
you’re talking about a huge amazonian influence you’re talking about the ground that ultimately
produced sappho okay i want you to realize that why would this dude respect those amazonian
traditions. I’ll give you one word, warriors. It was warrior culture, and they understood.
You know who doesn’t understand? People who are not warriors, right? Yeah. You know where we can
hang? We can hang in the groves of Mars, and we can hang with the Bakkans, because they will go
to the hunters, and the hunters know, because they lived that life and death struggle, right?
rest of those bread eaters what good are they what good are they the bread eaters
what good do you see do you see that heroic bronze age mentality right it’s when women
kicked ass man i’m telling you somebody’s gonna write a history someday right and they’re gonna
look at all of the influence of the scythian ladies i want to tell you right now right now
All joking aside, nothing, nothing so historically sexy as these Scythian women.
They took Jack.
They took Jack from anyone.
They will take your scalp.
They’ll take your scalp.
Yeah.
They’ll suspend you.
They’ll beat you.
They’ll drug you.
They’ll hunt and they will kill you.
Do you think they needed a me too?
No.
They expressed that in their life.
isn’t it gorgeous and you thought you were so advanced no you’re not you’ve been made passive
you’ve been made passive because the classical well dried up because christianity judaism islam
came along and piled up concrete and closed up the well now you and i got nothing to drink
we got nothing to drink you know what i want i want a tall dark drink of amazonian queen that’s
what I want. That’s what I want. Somebody, nerds, I commissioned thee at once. Build me a time
machine. I want to bring back an Amazonian woman. Make it so. Give me the next one. Let’s read the
dirtiest. Now, I told you. I told you people to hold on. I told you the people to hold on. This
is not the dirty one, but it just says the ethyphallic song is the praise, is written in
praise of Dionysus, right? This is the kind of stuff that Archilochus authored. That’s all that
says. And thank you very much, Sirianus in Hermogenes. What? You mean we have so many
references? We don’t even know who these people are. Exactly. Give me the next one. Boom. Okay.
This is the piece de resistance right here. Are you ready for this? This is Archilochus,
and I want Archilochus. I’m going to translate this quickly. It’s two slides and I’m just going
to translate a few and I want you to listen to the wisdom, the wisdom of Archilochus and his
iambic poetry. Are you ready? The mind of the conitis and the bad prostitute are exactly the
same. Both of them are really happy taking coin. Okay. I’m going to say that again. The mind of
the kinitis. Who’s the kinitis? For those of you who weren’t here, this in Greek is technically
the rump dancer, the hootie toot toot of the buttocks, the jiggly wiggly of the pigly. Do
understand? There is an art to those who have the itch. That’s how they said it, okay? The booty
dancing is a central part of all of this. You mean, you mean, dude, you know, nine-year-old,
right? Nine-year-old. What are we going to find next? I don’t know. Send a SWAT team out. Send a
Roman SWAT team out. Get that guy. Look, we got a kid here. He’s going to testify. Next day,
he falls over dead. Described symptomatically from a drug that induces sexuality and aphrodisiac.
Too much Spanish fly, Judas. Too much Spanish fly, if you ask me. It was merciful. It was
merciful. Give me the next one. Give me the next one. Okay. Oh, no, we got to go back. I’m not
finish with translating that one. Look, that’s the kinitis. So the mind of the kakes pornes.
What is a bad prostitute? You thought, you hear prostitute and you think bad, right? No, no. For
the Greek, bad prostitutes, good prostitutes. Bad doctors, good doctors. Bad priests, good priests.
yeah it’s a technical art why do you think they have temple prostitutes right right oh god where
have these people been this civilization has not reached us he says the conitis and a bad
prostitute their minds are the same thing they enjoy taking cash they enjoy the movement through
their backsides. They enjoy the dowels being driven in and banging. They love the banging,
the banging, the banging. Give me the next one. That’s what it says, okay? I’m going to show you
the Greek just so you know. What else do they do? They make sausage. Wait, what? Okay, here’s a
little colloquial, right? Think of it this way, doling out the sausage, right? Mincing all those
mates together and doling them out in one little, yeah, okay, picture, picture that, right, right,
what else, they like the tumbling in their innards, and one pummeling is never enough,
they like a lot, and they swallow down, what do the people do who like the cash,
what are you supposed to be doing, people, you’re supposed to be looking at the people around you
like the cash you’re supposed to be looking at them oh maybe into yourself a
wee bit too and what happens what are you looking at you’re looking at
somebody who loves it loves it give it to me give it to me what do they say
what do they say in second line remember right remember who this is we’re talking
about who’s writing this right one one lover is never enough they swallow down
one male member after another into their deep throats and they hunger for the
bigger ones and the thicker ones and you know what those male members do they
punch around in their guts that giant chasm all the way penetrates to the
belly button this is what people are who love the money 800 years right excuse me
650 years pre-Jesus, right?
Okay.
Do you see where the mystery comes from?
Judaism and Christianity both originate from this Bacchic mystery.
And it’s all over the language and the boobs.
The boobs who have been teaching you theology as if it were history.
They’re boobs.
boobs. Give it to me. What happens to these people? Let’s give it to them. That same one.
I said, okay, where were we? We were in the guts. We were stabbing the guts in this great chasm of
you. Giant. What does he say? Look at line 15. Oh, to hell with the person who’s all worked up
over sex. To hell with that person who has an itch in their bottom, who loves that bottom dance,
who has that europroton. What is an europroton? This is what you get according to Archilochus
when you crave money. What is it that you get? An euru, it means wide, and a proktos
is what the proktologist examines. Do you understand? Yes. Okay. Now, did the Victorians
try to define this? No way, man. No way, right? There’s got to be an excellent way to do this in
English, but there you go. So he says, you know, to hell with all this stuff. You know what’s
important? Let this thing be important to us, what? The muses and a life that is dedicated solely
to them, right? Knowing this, that this kind of life is what gives real joy, real tangible
happiness, real pleasure. And it can all be summed up. I’m still translating. It can all be summed
up in one expression. Let’s never keep company with those whose pleasures are shameless. Those
who crave money, fame, power. Yeah. Do you understand? This is what the warrior says.
And he’s considered one of the three greats of all time. Homer, Hesiod, Archilochus. Thank you
for allowing me to present to you the curse, the blasphemy. You know who I’m talking to.
now we’re going to end our time and i’m going to run the final exit but i’m gonna go get your
drill sergeant because i want to talk about unit five so go ahead and hit it thank you for coming
tonight if you’re not coming back hail satan the derangement syndrome has them hurting the kids
As you know, you died too
Unfashioned gibbets, crucified
The child rapist on the cross
Throwing Christians to the lions
Throwing all the pedophiles
Off the bridge, fish food
Have a nice swim
For your derangement syndrome
The prescription, reek like indica
puffing the death bubble black water fresh heat here we go so those of you who are here
for the greek lessons i know that you’ve worked for you through units one two three four right
we’ve got to get you five and six and seven we’ll top it off is what we need before we have to take
our next exam so i’m going to be spending a little extra time with you over the next few days
over the next few sessions that we meet.
I’m going to be spending a little extra time with you
because I want you to have this material
and I want you to be able to press ahead with the TAs, right?
And remember, you can go to these sessions
through the length that will be provided to you
to talk to people who have already been through this course
and have gotten to the point that they’re in my reading course
where we’re reading uh lucian and the ass yes okay let’s go let’s get to it give me the first
one should we um again this is unified so if you’re coming back to this you know people one
of the things people have been doing is doing just the short um and you segments to see what
is important in each of the chapters and then proceeding i think that’s a great idea look we’re
talking about the passive voice in unit five if you get one thing out of unit five i want you to
know what the passive voice is passive voice verbs have voice what are the voices that verbs can have
in greek ancient number one active number two middle number three passive active middle passive
so far you have only learned the active voice i educate my son there is a direct object my son
he is the one who is being acted on by the verb i is the subject in doing the verb i am not having
it done to me that would be passive you’re talking about the erastes and the romanos
right the lover and the one who receives the love right same thing in the active
in the power and believe it or not this is exactly as they thought about it
right active versus passive roles all right okay fantastic what is an active
verb kick I kick the ball turn it into a passive form I am kicked by the soccer
player I am kicks now the subject is not doing the action the subject is
receiving the action the direction of the verb is turned around in the passive
fantastic here are the endings that you need for the present indicative and what
what do we have to do we’re gonna have to cap off all the verbs that you’ve
learned so far now with passive forms so that you can say both I educate and I
I was or am educated.
Good.
Here are the endings that you need to memorize these.
Oh my, e, etai, omith, este, ontai.
Oh my, e, etai, omith, este, ontai.
Please notice the second person singular can be either eta iota or epsilon iota.
Don’t let that freak you out.
Memorize.
Oh my, e, etai, omith, este, ontai.
I am being educated, present, indicative, passive, present, indicative, passive.
Good.
Hit the next one, Chewy.
Boom.
Okay.
Now pay attention.
The next tense we’ve got to work is the imperfect, the imperfect, the imperfect.
Okay.
We’re going to form it just like the imperfect, active.
But here, we’re going to have different endings.
Amen, ueto, ometh, este, onto.
Amen, ueto, ometh, este, onto.
Amen, ueto, ometh, este, onto.
Please, chant that to yourself.
Those are the imperfect passive endings.
Good, good, good.
And how are we going to use the imperfect passive?
I was being kicked, right?
I am kicked in the present passive in the imperfect. I was being kicked. Good. Hit me with
the next one. Beautiful. Beautiful. What else? Well, look, if we can have a present indicative
passive, we can also have a present subjunctive passive, right? Present subjunctive passive.
Oh my, a, a-tie, o-me-th, a-st, on-tie.
Look at how long that initial vowel is in each case.
You’ve got just long vowels there, omega and a-ta.
Don’t you love that?
Omega and a-ta, just like any subjunctive, right?
You’re going to deepen your vowels.
Vowels, deepen your vowels.
Now talk to a linguist about that over a candlelight dinner.
You know what I mean?
Show me how to deepen your vowels.
Maybe it’ll make sense.
Hit next one, give me the next one.
Here’s the present optative passive form, right?
Just like we have present optative active.
Remember, oimi, ois, oi, oimen, oita, oien.
Well, here’s the passive forms of it.
Oimen, oio, oito, oimith, oista, ointo.
Memorize it.
Oimen, oio, oito, oimith, oista, ointo.
Oimen, oio, oito, oimith, oista, ointo.
Let your spouse hear you saying that on the toilet.
Please, chanting. Put it into your system when you’re not otherwise occupied with something
automatic, right? Do something that is, you know, normal, right? Set it in your brain.
Give me the next one. What else from this chapter? Well, I wanted you to see a future passive. I
didn’t put it at the top here. This is the future passive. Look at what the translation is. I will
be educated. I will be educated in the future. Look at this form, people. I love this form. This
is one of my favorites. Look at it. How do you form the future passive? I know you’re going to
raise your hands because you’ve been through the first four units. You’re going to raise your hand
and you’re going to say, oh, just slap a passive ending onto the future form. Now, that would be
logical. You could just use the second principle part and you could slap one of these passive
forms on it. Sorry, no, that’s not what you do. Remember I told you there’s this illicit
relationship between the heiress and the future? I told you, well, here’s the Motel 6, right?
Let’s go talk to the person in the front office and see how many people checked in. Are you ready?
Pie de face, oh my. Look what we did. We took that sixth principle part, we clipped its ending,
and then we added an eta and a sigma and then the ending okay so you take the sixth principle part
clip off its ending add an eta and a sigma and then you can add your oh my a a tie oh my
right pi del face oh my i will be educated pi del face say you will be educated pi del face
Esetai, he, she, or it will be educated.
Oh my, etai, omete, este, ontai.
See why you got to be sitting on the toilet chanting that?
You know what I mean?
Right?
Make the people around you really uncomfortable.
Like there’s some kind of culty thing going on in your brain.
Right?
They won’t realize it, but you’re working out on the toilet.
Right?
You’re actually working out.
Right?
Good.
Fantastic.
Give me the next one.
here is the perfect passive look look at the endings i just wanted to see the endings it’s
just my side time met this the untie right oh god off of the fifth of it principal part no problem
no problem and then you can logically jump to this one whoops up yep that one there we go
you can logically jump to the pluperfect passive right when you had right when you have been
somethinged, right? Or you had been something. We had the perfect before, have been something.
Now we’re getting the pluperfect. Had, had. Extra perfect. It’s extra perfect. Plu.
Turn. Okay. Anyway, here are the endings. Main, so, to. Surprise. They look just like the endings
in the imperfect without the vowels. Main, so, to. They are, right? The my, so, to. And the main,
so tall get these down get these down if you want to progress and you want to be able to go through
do you want to go through these um units progressing like this please please what we need
is for you to see things in the exercises just pull up those exercises and i just want people
to see a couple of things these exercises in this chapter right oh what are they talking
off about right right from the beginning now notice people are starting to get long you’re
like holy mackerel for everybody who’s not in the greek right they look at this and like geez
what are you people doing there’s actually a whole bunch of greek there right good so you got both
that gold and that silver in this one right now you run into a hoop or tone polytone after that
right and you’re like oh wait a minute the way that i express agency they told me is with hoopo
What is agency? I was kicked by a mule. I was kicked. That’s passive. I was kicked.
You got to tell me now that I am not the subject anymore, right? You got to tell me who is actually
doing the verb and how do you do that? Agency. You express that. You express that in Greek
in a couple of ways. One of the ways they told you is with hupo, the preposition, by, right? Who is
this stuff? What is this stuff that’s being acted upon? Who’s the one who’s actually doing it? Oh,
it’s by the citizens, right? Look at the verb. Look at the main verb here, epimtheson. People
tell me what that is. It’s from pimpo, right? It’s an aorist passive. Why are we, we’re trying to
practice these passive forms, right? Here’s your aorist passive, right? The silver and the gold
and the silver were what? They were sent by the citizens. That’s where your agency is.
Hoopo, ton, polyton. Okay. I want you to see that. Then they give you a purpose clause.
Hoss, hoss, jump to the end of that line and you get through saying. There’s your verb. Why do we
have an optative there in our purpose clause,
in order that they might sacrifice.
Why do we have that? Because our main clause,
its verb, epiphtheson, is a secondary tense.
It’s an aorist, and aorists are secondaries,
so it’s got to use an optative form.
You people knew that? You saw that coming?
You saw that coming?
Look at number 2.
Mm-mm-mm. What is the real swallower here? Look at the very last word, gegraptai.
Gegraptai. It’s going to shift you. They’re just trying to shift you from an active voice to a
passive voice. So when you’re going through these exercises, I want you to be sure to consider
that there are some things they’re trying to point out to you. You should see, like you’ve
gone over this obstacle course, right? And you know, oh, they taught us chin-ups here, so they’re
going to make us do chin-ups. We’re going to do that, right? And you see them. You’re out on the
course. Guess what? Purpose clause, that’s a chin-up, right? Main clause and a secondary, oh, that’s, you
know, doing push-ups. Fantastic. I want you to look at number three. Now, this is an exercise I do with
individual students that i don’t so far i have not done it with you mostly what we do
is when we translate these exercises i’ll tell the student read it they will read it in great
number three ace a toys to pro to angel logos toys got toys etc etc um you read it in greek first and
then you translate it but an exercise i do is i tell students stop stop first thing you do
if you see that a it’s a conditional sentence i want you to identify it i want you to tell me
what kind of conditional this is and how am i going to do that i’ve got to break it down analyze
it and go back to that chart that’s in unit four and i’ve got to say which one is this future more
more vivid, less vivid, present general, past general, present factual, past contrafactual.
Which one is it? What is this one? Look, it’s got an A. And what is the verb in the prothesis?
What is the verb in the prothesis? It’s in the optative, right? What is the verb? What do we
have in the hypothesis? We’ve got an on plus an optative. A plus optative, optative plus on,
right? What is that? It’s a future less vivid. What’s the translation for the future less vivid?
Should would. Should would. Fantastic. A plus optative, optative plus on. Now, you should be
able to translate that whole sentence. If somebody should, then somebody would, right? We’re just
following the rules of the grammar. That’s all. That’s all. Fantastic. Okay. Fantastic. I just
want to make sure. Yep. Well, notice, by the way, at number three, there’s also an infinitive,
right? I want to make sure. There’s two of them, actually. I want you to make sure and pick up
those, right? Okay, good. Excellent. Okay. So as you’re doing the exercises, please learn that you
need to pay attention to what the unit is actually trying to teach you. And I know you do that. I
You know, that’s not hard to pick up, right?
I mean, that’s natural.
You should feel that way as you’re doing the exercise.
What the hell are they?
Oh, it’s a purpose clause, right?
I know that’s not going to strike you as strange.
It’s not going to go over your head like you’re a moron or something, right?
No.
Keep studying.
If at all possible, attend one of the sessions that are on the weekends
that the intrepid TAs are working, where they’re working with the students.
Please, you can go through individual exercises together.
You can practice.
And they are dedicating their time to this.
Why?
Because they see the value in training.
They see it giving people that freedom to be able to look at those texts for themselves, right,
instead of take my word for it.
That is precious, is precious gifts, okay?
Thank you for coming tonight. I want to say a special thanks to Teddy for getting us all this lovely music and bringing those images. Thank you, Teddy. I truly appreciate it. Everybody look, check out and go to Teddy.
I also want to say thank you again to Aldboy, who is putting together marvelous videos, and they’re not long-winded like I am.
He’s putting a whole bunch of concise information, a very short, tight little area, and just getting it out there where you can just, bam, pop it in your mouth and go.
I love it.
I love it.
It’s good stuff.
Also, thank you to everybody.
I hope that we got lots of feedback.
um i appreciate everything that people have been saying about the constructive nature of what we’re
doing right the constructive nature right um and in the meantime know that i’m training that i’m
training and i’ll bring something to you that’s gorgeous thank you very much for coming tonight
Hellsake.
Have a nice swim for your derangement syndrome, this is the prescription, reek like indica, puffing the death bubble, black water freshie.
Source: Lady Babylon